Updates from the studio, in the order legal cleared them.
News
2026 Q3
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Next game in development
We won't say which. Legal says that's the point.
Compliance is making a list and checking it twice. The list is mostly exclamation points.
App Launch
FY26 Q2
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Swatpocalypse enters the arcade. Pest control declines to comment.
Testing consisted of one very tired QA engineer and a flyswatter. Neither has fully recovered.
The QA engineer has requested hazard pay a second time. The request is, as usual, under review.
Review
FY26 Q2
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Clock Jock launches. Early testers describe waking up as "a negotiation."
Full sentence: "A negotiation I lose every morning." We used a bigger font on the first half.
The reviewer has since silenced all alarms and requested we stop emailing them. We consider this a five-star outcome and are appealing their rating internally.
Satire
FY26 Q1
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Founder & CEO adopts tie, cites "optics."
The tie is purely decorative. The yelling continues at full volume.
Investor materials now describe the tie as "a load-bearing accessory." It has been knotted the same way, without removal, since the Q1 board meeting. Compliance considers this a win.
News
FY25 Q4
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ShoutyBit incorporated, immediately regrets the name.
Rebrand was discussed. Rebrand was denied. We are ShoutyBit forever, apparently.
Three alternate names made it to a vote: QuietBit, Bit Systems Incorporated, and Definitely Not ShoutyBit LLC. All three lost. The founder has since stopped bringing it up in meetings, mostly.
Nothing filed under this category yet. Suspicious, but true.