Updates from the studio, in the order legal cleared them.
News
2026 Q3
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Getting Loud Soon
Site launching soon.
Compliance is making a list and checking it twice.
App Launch
FY26 Q2
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Bit Brawl's 400 insult voice lines pass internal review.
Review consisted of one very tired QA engineer and a pair of noise-cancelling headphones.
Line 217 ("your combo is as weak as your Wi-Fi") was flagged twice by Legal and shipped anyway. The QA engineer has requested hazard pay a second time. The request is, as usual, under review.
Review
FY26 Q2
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Press calls Bit Alarm "aggressively effective." We frame the quote anyway.
Full sentence: "Aggressively effective at ruining my mornings." We used a bigger font on the first half.
The reviewer has since disabled notifications, uninstalled the app, and requested we stop emailing them. We consider this a five-star outcome and are appealing their rating internally.
Satire
FY26 Q1
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Founder & CEO adopts tie, cites "optics."
The tie is purely decorative. The yelling continues at full volume.
Investor materials now describe the tie as "a load-bearing accessory." It has been knotted the same way, without removal, since the Q1 board meeting. Compliance considers this a win.
News
FY25 Q4
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ShoutyBit incorporated, immediately regrets the name.
Rebrand was discussed. Rebrand was denied. We are ShoutyBit forever, apparently.
Three alternate names made it to a vote: QuietBit, Bit Systems Incorporated, and Definitely Not ShoutyBit LLC. All three lost. The founder has since stopped bringing it up in meetings, mostly.
Nothing filed under this category yet. Suspicious, but true.